There are some truths that sound like platitudes, but they make so much sense:
*You don't have to go to every argument that you are invited to
* Just because someone says it, doesn't make it true.
*There is always one asshole in the room, don't let it be you.
* People's reactions and actions toward you say more about them than it says about you
* Apologies mean you care more about the relationship than you do about your ego
* It is better to be kind than right
* Let your light shine so brightly that others can see their way out of the dark
I have friends that have really bright lights.
Life is rough. Things get hard. Feeling get hurt. I experienced all of these things tenfold during the Covid Quarantine years. But my friends and chosen family got me through those hardest moments. Two of those friends and I embarked on a silly adventure a week ago that now has grown into something bigger than the three of us. Lights are shining all over the place.
One of those friends recently gave a Tedx talk, which is cool in it's own right. More importantly, she helped me start to see my worth and helped me learn tools to navigate my emotions amid pitfalls that happen when you feel everything around you. An empathic life is not always easy to handle. My other friend has created a safe space around him and a beautiful oasis where people retreat to find joy, peace and calm. He is someone who has seen really tough times and takes his experiences to help lift people up. On a personal level, he has talked me through some of my most painful and dark moments and reminded me that better and brighter times are always ahead.
Last week the stars aligned and we all had a chance to be together. The evening started with a fun ride in a zippy convertible going up the 5 freeway. I wore a sweatshirt to keep the chill off and my hair up in a bun so I can enjoy the ride with the top down on a Southern California Spring night. We went to dinner and the conversation was what I have always hoped I would have with friends. It was fun and encouraging. We told each other truths we needed to hear and then we hatched a fun plan. I always leave these meetings with a full heart and a glowing, satisfied soul. That evening was no different.
Our plan is to run the Marine Corps Marathon in Washington DC in 2024. No small feat. We figured with 2 1/2 years before the race, we have plenty of time to train and get healthy and find our run again. Before we knew it, 80 people from our running groups and our friend groups are ready to sign up with us. What started as a small glittering fleck of dust has transformed into a radiant glowing force.
What this says to me more than anything is that we all have the power to lift up the people who surround us.
Running my first marathon was the hardest thing I have ever done. And it was the most proud I have ever felt with any physical feat. To know that others will be able to feel the pride of watching their body do things it has never done before and push their mind past the places that have a way of finding ways to limit ourselves, well, it is something I can't wait to be a part of. We shine our lights on each other.
Amid this plan of shenanigans...I really love that word...after the last two years, it feels light and fun...but I digress. While we were putting this plan together and encouraging others to join us, I was gifted the honor of joining someone else on their journey to excellence. And really, anytime someone tries to better themselves, it is a journey towards excellence, isn't it? I have a friend I met at a race 7 years ago. And as you do with friends you meet in the running community, we have kept in touch over the years. She mentioned to me that she is running the NYC Marathon in November of this year. She ran it last year and signed up the next day to run the 5 boroughs a second time. It's iconic and one of the six marathon majors and has some of the best race support from those watching. It is a race I have always wanted to do. To my surprise, my friend is giving me the honor of running the NYC Marathon alongside her, as her support runner. She shone her light brightly in my direction.
I get to run the NYC Marathon this November.
I am so excited and completely terrified. That part about pushing your body and your mind past all of the thoughts that limit you? I remember that part vividly-the good and the bad. And now I have the responsibility to make sure my friend gets over the finish line.
I spoke with my run coach about it recently. I have been woefully out of shape this past training season. I have my first half marathon in quite awhile coming up in 2 weeks. I was so excited about training for a real live race for the first time in 2 years. And then I got Covid. It's not an excuse, but it really derailed me. I was lucky enough to qualify for an antibody infusion and it helped me feel better, but coming back from being sick was harder than I thought it would be. I am finally feeling like I have stamina again. My long miles aren't killing me anymore and I am able to finish them, even if they are slow. But my coach, as always, shared some wise words with me. She knows her runners so well. It's not just physical for her, but also a relationship she builds with each of us and we trust her implicitly. She told me she thought this would be good for me because I tend to put others before I put myself. She said I am a mother and a wife and a friend...and she is right. I do all of that before I am me. So when I am in the middle of training and my kids or my husband or a friend needs me, guess what...I tend to them before I finish what would benefit me and my health first. I will be doing this race for my friend first and then reap the benefits along the way because I won't let her down. I will work on my pace and increase my strength to make sure I am a worthy partner to her in the race. I am determined to do right by her. My running coach lifted me up and shone her light in my direction just by sharing her observations and her wisdom. Of course, there is the other part about learning to shine the light on myself and learning to put my needs ahead of things...but one thing at a time. 😏
Booker T. Washington once said, "If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else." When I look back at how all of these events are interconnected, I see how we all are lifting ourselves up, but it all started by shining the light on someone else. By deciding to train together for the Marine Corps Marathon and inviting our friends, we are now on a long road to health. By deciding to accept the honor of supporting my friend at the NYC Marathon, the mental part of training, the part that has held me back for so long, has really kicked in. By listening to my run coach and accepting the light she shines in my direction, I see where I am ready to support my friend. But also in the bigger picture, I see where it's ok to start taking care of myself.
Rihanna sings to Shine Bright Like a Diamond. Take the advice. You never know who might inspire you. Or who you might inspire, yourself.
